We’ve produced a ‘mini-series’ of three podcast episodes emerging from a research report on Death, Dying and the Afterlife, co-produced by SWF and Theos Thinktank. Here, SWF researcher Dr Lia Shimada introduces the series and her motivation for the research:
Like many people, I had given little thought to dying. It would happen someday, somehow, in the far-off future.
Then one ordinary Wednesday afternoon, I gave birth to my first child. Thirty-nine minutes later, he was dead.
Did we want to hold him? the consultant asked my husband and me. This was the first of countless questions that would come our way – a universe of decision-making that we had never considered.
This first question was easy to answer. Yes, we wanted hold Rowan; he was still warm and looked for all the world like any other newborn baby. We also said ‘yes’ to staying overnight in hospital, where we kept watch through long hours as death set to work on Rowan’s tiny body.
Then came an onslaught of questions that were far harder to answer. Should we authorize a post-mortem? Which hymns should we choose for his funeral? Did we want to bury him? Cremate him? When, and where? How would we want Rowan to be dressed for this final occasion?
Months later, strange questions still clamoured for response. What shape for his tombstone? Out of what kind of rock? As for the edges, did we want them bevelled or straight?
With our first child dead and buried, our own deaths now loomed in view. All the questions that we tackled for Rowan would also apply to his parents.
I needed dialogue partners; I assumed that the people around me would oblige. I would soon learn, however, that ‘bereaved mother’ casts a terrible pall, and that ‘death talk’ is the ultimate party-killer.
So I decided to create new spaces for the conversations I craved. I began convening regular Death Cafés at Brompton Cemetery, where we had buried Rowan. Death Café is an international movement that brings people together to talk about death (www.deathcafe.com). During the pandemic, I shifted the programme online. It has been a great privilege to facilitate these sessions, to offer the gift of open discussion and opportunities for reflection. Participants would tell me, again and again, that they found in the Death Café a safe space for conversations they wouldn’t – couldn’t – have in their ordinary circle of family and friends.
I learned enormously through facilitating these discussions. Above all, I learned that when it comes to ‘death literacy’, the British public has a long way to go.
This was the launching point for Ashes to Ashes: Beliefs, Trends, and Practices of Dying, Death and the Afterlife (Theos, 2023). I co-authored this report in collaboration with Marianne Rozario, Senior Researcher at the public theology thinktank Theos. Over the course of several months, we interviewed a wide range of experts and informed participants: academics, faith leaders and representatives, death industry professionals, charity leaders, health professionals and community organisers. Our research centred around three questions:
- In the UK today, what are current trends on, and attitudes toward, dying, death and the afterlife?
- What role do churches and faith communities play?
- To what extent do churches and faith communities care for pastorally, and accompany theologically, the dying and the bereaved?
Arching over the project were two broader questions: How well – or not – do we talk about death? As a society, how can we do it better?
Here at the Susanna Wesley Foundation, we are continuing the conversations. We present a series of podcasts that emerge from the report’s findings, bringing together some extraordinary individuals who participated in the research for Ashes to Ashes.
- In the first podcast, independent funeral director Poppy Mardall and The Revd John Lampard (Methodist minister and former Vice-Chair of the London Funerals Group) discuss the decline of Christian funerals and the rise of secular Celebrations-of-Life.
- In the second podcast, focusing on the theme of Afterlife, we hear from the Revd Prof June Boyce-Tillman (Anglican priest, liturgist and musician).
- And in the third podcast we will explore the theme of community resilience. An interfaith panel of speakers will comprise the Revd Alex Wimberly (Leader of the Corrymeela Community) and Ruth Jampel (Director, Judaism for Schools) on the podcast itself, and Imam Hassan Rabbani (Chaplain, Heriot-Watt University) responding.
We anticipate that new questions will unfold through these podcast discussions. We hope that you, the listeners, will feel encouraged to continue these conversations with the people around you.
We will all face death, sooner or later. In the meantime, may these podcasts, and the conversations they spark, help us to live.